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Funny Love Quotes And Sayings Biography

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Smile is the best thing a person can do, pleasant feelings and all the other good senses are arisen from it – here you are going to read the collection of the best funny quotes about life by famous people, enjoy funny sayings and if you like the page bookmark/share.
“I want to die like my grandfather, peacefully, in his sleep. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”
Author Unknown
“Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.”
Calvin
“I have opinions of my own — strong opinions — but I don’t always agree with them.”
George Bush
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
Homer Simpson
“It is better to be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”
Mark Twain Quotes
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
Groucho Marx
“One out of four people is a Chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.”
Anonymous
“Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.”
Anonymous
“Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.”
Anonymous
“Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that’s ok, because you can’t afford it anyway.”
Jim Davis
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.”
George Carlin
“Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you’ll be disconnected.”
Unknown
“Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.”
Joey Adams
“In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away”
Shing Xiong
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Dr. Seuss
“Everything has been figured out, except how to live.”
Jean-Paul Sartre
“Someday life will all make perfect sense, so laugh through the confusion smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself everything happens for a reason.”
Anonymous
“Love me or leave me. Hey, where is everybody going?”
Anonymous
“Everyone should have at least two friends – one to talk to and one to talk about.”
Anonymous
“In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back“
Charlie Brown
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
Bob Hope – Happy Quotes
“Researchers have found that men are four times more likely to sleep naked than women are. Perhaps all that body hair keeps them too warm! Or maybe they just never got around to replacing their Batman pyjamas.”
Anonymous
Welcome to Seriously funny life quotes! Here is a really cool collection of the best, wittiest, funniest, stupidest, nastiest crankiest quotes and hilarious sayings, from people who would be happy to unquote the misquoted! Or you may hear them say, 'did I say that?' Enjoy these great quotes, both from the times gone by and from the current times; from the world of sports, Technology, Love, Life and perhaps from all walks of life for that matter. Please make sure to bookmark this page as it is constantly updated. Have fun, ROTFL, LOL and tweet it or facebook it for your friends! Seriously, have some fun!Mark Twain was quoted in his biography “Humor is mankind's greatest blessing”. It is said that humor is the fragrance of life. It stirs your spirit and makes you aware of the fact that you are alive. Joy is the natural expression and reaction of a sensible and intelligent person, to the finer things in life. Having the ability to laugh is the best reward that a human being has. Sadly, not many people are seen making use of the same. No luxury in this world can be compared to the feelings of euphoria, which comes after laughing. Laughter is the best medicine and it is also the best thing that you can do with your lips. What better way to cheer yourself up than having funny quotes and sayings as company. Read this article to know some of them right here.
To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful- Bess Myerson
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law - Hubert Humphrey
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder- Anon
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less - Nicholas Murray Butler
I’m going to live forever, or die trying - Joseph Heller
If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars - J.P. Getty
A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you - Anon
Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand - Benny Hill
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain - Mark Twain
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk- Charlie Chaplin.
Don’t drink and drive; you might spill your beer.
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Everyone has a photographic memory, but some just don't have a film.
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of darkness?
People join the army for visiting exotic places, meet strange people, then finish them.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side, and the right side.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.