Funny Love Quotes Free Images Photos Pictures: Funny Movie Love Quotes

Funny Movie Love Quotes Biography

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We all know that there a lot of funny movie quotes out there but with so many things going on in our lives nowadays it's hard to remember them and we forget what's funny let alone the quotes from the movie.
To help you along on this little expedition of merriment and amusement I have put together for you a random collection of the the funniest movie quotes I could find and if you don't have the time to watch the entire film, well, these quotes are the next best thing. If nothing else, they are a little taster of what kind of comedy you'll find within that movie.
Hopefully somewhere in these quotes will be something to put a smile on your face, but remember don't take these jokes too seriously!
Domingo: Are you guys even real cops? You look like the kids on Halloween.
Tom Hanson: If them boys is cops, I'm DEA.
[Schmidt does a fake laugh]
Schmidt: I know! Right? I know! It's hilarious.
[Schmidt stops laughing]
Schmidt: So why don't you show us a little respect?
Domingo: Fuck you, pig!
Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Jenko: I'll beat your dick off with both hands. What's up? Let's go.
One-Percenter #1: That's weird, man!
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that...that your dick's just gonna fall off.
[at the check out counter a register woman swipes their items]
Register Woman: Guns. Mask. You sure you all don't wanna grab some condoms?
Nick: No. Why?
Register Woman: Because this is usually what men buy before they rape someone.
Chet: Oh, we're not rapists! Us two, small fries? No way.
[she gives them a cold unbelieving look]
Register Woman: Is it gonna be cash or credit for your rape kit?
[Chet put a box of hamburger slider kit on the counter]
Chet: Hey, is a slider station in a rape kit? Cause we're gettin' one of those too.
Nick: We'll pay cash.
Chet: Not into rape, just into sliders.
Mooj: Hey Andy, don't let him bother you. It's okay not to have sex. Not everybody's a pussy magnet. You, uh, what are you, 25?
Andy Stitzer: I'm 40.
Mooj: Holy shit, man, you got to get on that!
Kyle: You're gonna be fine.
Adam: Yeah.
Kyle: You're gonna be fine. Fifty fifty! If you were a casino game, you'd have the best odds.
Adam: Yeah. Thanks.
Dr. Evil: My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try Bond, James Bond"
From numerous James Bond movies.
"Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings"
Carolyn Grimes as Zu Zu Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life.
"I'll be back!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger as the terminator - The Terminator.money
"My mother always said, life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get"
Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump - Forrest Gump.
"Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies"
Butterfly McQueen as Prissy - Gone With the Wind.
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"
Clark Gable as Rhett Butler in Gone With the Wind.
"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh, yeah? Ok?"
Robert DeNiro as Travis Bickle - Taxi Driver.
"You can't handle the truth."
Jack Nicholson as Col. Nathan R. Jessep - A Few Good Men.
"Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days"
Kevin Costner as Crash Davis - Bull Durham.
"Here's Looking at you, kid"
Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine - Casablanca.
"Rosebud"
Orson Welles as Charles Foster Kane - Citizen Kane.
"You're gonna need a bigger boat"
Roy Scheider as Police Chief Martin Brody in Jaws.
"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain"
Professor Henry Higgins - My Fair Lady.
"May the force be with you"
Harrison Ford as Han Solo - Star Wars.
"There's no place like home"
Judy Garland as Dorothy Gale - The Wizard of Oz.
"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse"
Marlon Brando as Don Corleone - The Godfather
"Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls"
James Stewart as George Bailey - It's a Wonderful Life
"Soylent Green is people"
Charlton Heston as Detective Thorn - Soylent Green.
"If you build it, he will come"
Voice from above - Field of Dreams
"Go ahead...make my day!"
Clint Eastwood as Harry Callahan - Sudden Impact.
"I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"
Clint Eastwood as Harry Callahan - Dirty Harry.
"E.T. phone home"
E.T - E.T. the Extraterrestrial
"Show me the money"
Cuba Gooding, Jr. as Rod Tidwell - Jerry Maguire
"Thank you sir! May I have another!"
Kevin Bacon as Chip Diller - Animal House
"You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley."
Marlon Brando as Terry Malloy - On the Waterfront
"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti"
Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter - The Silence of the Lambs
"My precious"
Andy Serkis as Gollum - Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
"Badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges"
Mexican Bandit - Blazing Saddles*
*see message forum as to why this quote is not attributed to Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
"The first rule of Fight Club is - you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is - you DO NOT talk about Fight Club." - Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden - Fight Club
"Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"
Mel Gibson as William Wallace - Braveheart
"When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better"
Mae West as Tira - I'm No Angel
"Yo, Adrian"
Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa - Rocky
[Lining up a rifle shot] "Be not that far from me, for trouble is near; haste Thee to help me. Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight. My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me. O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me"
Barry Pepper as Private Jackson - Saving Private Ryan
"You're a lean, mean, fighting machine!"
Bill Murray as John Winger - Stripes
"Say hello to my Little Friend"
Al Pacino as Tony Montana - Scarface
"What Knockers"
Gene Wilder as Dr. Frederick Frankenstein - Young Frankenstein
"This is Doyle. I'm sittin' on Frog One."
Gene Hackman as Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle - The French Connection
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"
[typed] by Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in The Shining. Quote first appeared in 1957's Bridge on the River Kwai.
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
by Jake Gyllenhaal as Jack Twist in Brokeback Mountain.
"I'm the king of the world"
by Leonardo DiCaprio as Jack Dawson in Titanic.